The bank’ll take everything you love sooner or later.

I’m great at boats!

I reject passive consumption. I reject the premise. I will have no passive consumers. Casanova will not stop and explain itself to you. It will not allow you to flip through it while you’re dropping a deuce and waiting for Batman to show up.

She was reasonable and rational, even through the tears. I hurt her. I know I hurt her. All I felt was anger. I wanted to yell and break stuff. Be demonstrative. Because she was being... she was so adult. And I just felt like a stupid kid. I didn’t want to be in our empty place so I did what I do, I went to the movies. I wanted a big dark room to cry in.

Let my tale be a warning. Sure as blood shall be all our undoing, it is stories that set us all free. The stories are all that matter.

Some days it just feels like I’m here for the shoes and the eternal hope that I shall be issued minions.

He played Sarah McLachlan. For the rest of my life whenever I’d get a latte or see a sick dog, I’d think about my hymen.

Sexcastle is a perfect mix of homage and comedy, action and irony, loving tribute and hilarious send-up of the great, good, and ungodly-bad action movies of the ’80s. I don’t remember the last time a debut book hit me this hard. Literally, this book punched me in the face. It’s THAT mean.

I had at some point the epiphany that if I wanted to be a writer, maybe I should stop thinking about writing, or stop writing about writing, and actually write.

Who the hell let you animals into my office?I'll have you know I was playing a VERY unimportant game of chess right now with a man that kept saying "King me.