I like a decent funeral, and God knows in my family we've seen enough of them. Looking through family photographs now is like watching an episode of 'Dad's Army.'

We must remember to enjoy ourselves.

I want truth. I'm crying out to hear it. I need it like oxygen.

I can't abide small talk.

I'm the worst ad anyone could possibly be for abstaining from anything.

Seven thirty in the morning is too early for a man of my standing.

I'm a Taurus, you know. A bull. I belong in a field.

I once knew a girl who didn't know where anywhere was in the world. Not a clue. I asked her if she knew where Africa was and she answered, 'Is it the orange one on a map?'

I have two vintage typewriters. One just about works and the other hasn't a hope in hell, bless it. But they're both beautiful, and they'll stay with me just as long as there's a roof over my head.

I've spent so much of my adult life in relationships that it's actually quite pleasant to be alone at last. I turned thirty-six the other day, which staggers me when I think about it.