The women's movement ruined a permanent vacation.

It’s a human instinct to be known.

For comedians, we’re all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke might be by how many times it gets retweeted, but it takes discipline to go back through the tweets and then develop jokes from them.

The idea that you’re supposed to do everything on your own is absurd. You can’t.

The chasm between rich and poor is becoming larger, and I think it’s interesting terrain to talk about and expose.

I don’t see the point of watching men exercise.

The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ’s playlist.

The more developed your abs, the less time you’ve spent reading.

How are you gonna make an ‘idol’ from the type of person you’re trying to avoid in real life?

I just went home to Illinois, and I asked my family, ‘Are you guys planning on talking in those accents the whole time I’m home?’ And my mother said, ‘You used to talk like that, too, Tasha.’ And I said, ‘Yes, but you see, I’ve reinvented myself. Do you have any idea who I think I am?’