My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I can tell instantly if it's not clean-and I like it clean enough to be able to eat off the floors-or the tables, for that matter.

If I hadn’t become a celebrity, I’d probably be an alcoholic.

Learning lines is on my mind until I do know them. I’ll read the paper or paint the house to keep from starting to memorize. I’ve never found an easy way.

Mothers don’t want to pinch me or put me in their purse.

When I said I didn’t have a cent, I didn’t. I used to get annoyed with people who said they were broke when they had five dollars.

Someday I’m going to go onstage in a dress if I want to.

I can’t even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery.

The whole romantic part of my life was a wipeout. I didn’t even own a belt.

My table seats eight, so that’s my maximum. Having a small number of guests is the only way to generate good conversation. Besides, your whole house doesn’t get wrecked that way.

As far as cookbooks go, I think Joy of Cooking is a classic. I’ve used it over and over again. Julia Child frustrates me. By the time you get all her herbs together, you’re exhausted.