Hope?! Hope is a bit desperate, isn’t it? Hope is right below wishful thinking and right above performing a rain dance.

The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

As an American, I’d like to apologize – for everything.

Manhandling the open here spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the illegal side.

Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank even when you are the only person in line.

The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie theaters.

The metallic silver coating found on fast-food game cards.

The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.

Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

The slime that accumulates on the underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.