The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you.

No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. The only queer people are those who don't love anybody.

If you want to succeed, you've got to organize your priorities. Sleeping is more important than partying.

The reward for conformity is that everybody likes you except yourself.

If you don't like my book, write your own. If you don't think you can write a novel, that ought to tell you something. If you think you can, do. No excuses. If you still don't like my novels, find a book you do like.

The last thing I have to say is that ice is the past tense of water. I’ve always wanted to write that sentence and now I have.

You’re nothing in America if you don’t have debt.

Do not judge. Never presume to judge another human being anyway. That’s up to heaven.

He thought how strange life was. The certainties vanish. What takes their place is resourcefulness and thanking God for life.

I think gay people are like blondes: There’re fewer of them but they have more fun.