We are articulate, but we are not particularly conversational. An Englishman won’t talk for the sake of talking. He doesn’t mind silence. But after the silence, he sometimes says something.

Every child should be placed on a doorstep to sell something. It’s the best possible training for life.

If in the paddock the owner is surrounded by a herd of young children, don’t back his horse. But if the owner is accompanied by a beautiful lady, plunge to the hilt.

Beware of the conversationalist who adds “In other words.”

The ball is man’s most disastrous invention, not excluding the wheel.

A party: one arrives long after it’s started, and one’s going to leave long before it’s over.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.

No man is lonely while eating spaghetti.

The French are a logical people, which is one reason the English dislike them so intensely. The other is that they own France, a country which we have always judged to be much too good for them.

I don’t work. I merely inflict myself on the public.