Ah, yes, divorce from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearrange the furniture.

The hurricanes have been getting bigger and bigger. And they usually give them names that don't really inspire fear.

I love running cross-country...on a track, I feel like a hamster.

I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that.

Spring is nature's way of saying 'Let's party!'

You'll have bad times, but it'll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to.

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.

Cats only pretend to be domesticated if they think there's a bowl of milk in it for them.

The human spirit is more powerful than any drug - and that is what needs to be nourished: with work, play, friendship, family. These are the things that matter.