It was about being able to dance like Cassidy did, as though no one was watching, as though the moment was infinite enough without needing to document its existence.

By the time I packed up, I wondered if I’d really been looking for Cassidy after all, or if I’d been hoping to find myself.

I was focusing on the now. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t still wonder about what came after.

I have a theory that life is gathering the raw materials, and when we die, we get to make patterns out of our lives and relive them in whatever order we want. That way I can spend forever repeating the days when I was really happy, and never have to experience any of the sad days. So that’s how you live a really great life. You make sure you have enough good days that you want to go back to.

But that morning, standing at the window of my dorm roomas I buttoned my shirt, I felt like an entirely different person. It was as though someone had taken an eraser to my life and, instead of getting rid of the mess, had rubbed away all the parts that I’d wanted to keep.

We have all been fooled into believing in people who are entirely imaginary – made-up prisoners in a hypothetical panopticon. But the point isn’t whether or not you believe in imaginary people; it’s whether or not you want to.

One thing I’ve realized about new places is that they’re like jeans. Sure, they might fit in, but they’re not comfortable. They need time to be broken in.

She tasted like buried treasure and swing sets and coffee.

It’s strange how can lose things that are still right there. How a barrier can go up at any moment, trapping you on the other side, keeping you from what you want. How the things that hurt the most are things we once had.

That’s a terrible word,” I teased. “It’s like an excuse for holding onto the past.” “Well, I think it’s beautiful. A word for remembering small moments destined to be lost.