Over the years I’ve studied the habits of golfers. I know what to look for. Watch their eyes. Fear shows up when there is an enlargement of the pupils. Big pupils lead to big scores.

There are no short hitters on the tour anymore – just long and unbelievably long.

When I ask you what club to use, look the other way and don’t answer.

I’ve been on some fairways that are as good as the greens we putted on back then. We had crab grass. I remember one green where I putted through ants.

Golf course architects make me sick. They can’t play themselves, so they rig the courses so nobody else can play either.

Most people who play golf have one big trouble: they think too much. To get any real mileage out of this game you’ve got to sit on your imagination.

The only place that’s holier than St. Andrews is Westminster Abbey.

Playing golf is like eating. It’s something which has to come naturally.

If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would’ve been a great shot.

But you don’t have to go up in the stands and play your foul balls. I do.