A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something. Not that he's cruel. He wouldn't hurt a fly. It's not big enough.

And beer rolled down the Tennessee and California Wine Was used as Blood for Hollywood.

The parent who could see his boy as he really is would shake his head and say, 'Willie is no good. I'll sell him.'

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

A sportsman is a man who every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something.

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit.

The Lord said 'let there be wheat' and Saskatchewan was born.

The Compleat Angler is acknowledged to be one of the world’s books. Only the trouble is that the world doesn’t read its books, it borrows a detective story instead.

Modern critics, who refuse to let a plain thing alone, have now started a theory that Cervantes’s work is a vast piece of “symbolism.” If so, Cervantes didn’t know it himself and nobody thought of it for three hundred years. He meant it as a satire upon the silly romances of chivalry.