Talk about tactful – she’s got a tongue like a Kalashnikov!

Depression catches everyone who lives long enough to be caught.

Walking a dog is a lesson in the simplicities of happiness, but you need to throw sticks to get maximum benefit from the lesson.

No-one wants acorns, but everyone wants oaks.

My dog doesn’t like dogs, and I kind of get where she’s coming from; I’m not too keen on people.

God was created by evolution, inside the imagination of a primate.

Few things sound so beautiful as the poetic accent of a Welsh woman.

There’s four seasons in the UK, spring, autumn, winter and winter.

There’s so much to say, the human race will be extinct long before everything which could be said has been said.

If you were a kangaroo you’d forget you’ve got a joey in your pouch.