My Man F*#$*& Another Pooper and I Went Into a Stupor.

Grandpa, as far as any child is concerned, their parents don't have any sort of genitals. It's all blank down there. Like Barbie and Ken dolls.

Pulling him all the way out, his c*#@ came free from his jeans with a thud, and my eyes went wide as saucers. This was not a penis but an anaconda. His d* was a weapon of mass destruction and could have had its own area code. To make matters more frightening, Peter was uncut. I was dealing with a hybrid: an anaconda turtle.

Apparently, denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

I didn't want to tell him that I was so wet that Noah would have had to build an ark to avoid the flood in my pants - Moxie