Having a baby or not having one was not his decision. It was mine. There isn’t a single couple where when it comes to having a baby the man’s decision counted in any real way. Couples who have babies usually have them because the woman involved is determined to do so. The only time a man’s POV counts is if he is a domineering, insecure jackass with no respect for you or your body. Most men think it would be ‘nice’ and then go along with whatever you want.

If a woman tells you she doesn’t want children, pretend she’s actually telling you she doesn’t want children. Don’t translate it in your head as, “I’m saying I don’t want them now, but I’m sure I’ll change my mind later.” She has no reason to lie to you, and if she’s told you she doesn’t want children, she’s already given it enough thought to make that declaration. So, assume she means it.

Do not make the mistake of assuming that because we’re women we’ll eventually want children. We aren’t kangaroos—this internal pouch isn’t one we all feel instinctively compelled to fill.

What ‘next level’ I wanted to scream! The level of sleepless nights and zero disposable income? Is being constantly tired and borderline broke supposed to make us more in love or something? And what makes you think that as a couple we haven’t already reached that level of pain and anxiety? Perhaps we did it without having kids! Maybe that is how fabulous we are. Did anyone think of that?

The truth is that a woman who chooses not to have children has generally engaged the question of a mother’s responsibilities to a degree of seriousness not previously explored when motherhood was simply a natural necessity.

We have been made to believe that a baby is basically a magical agent of change and that having one will, in one fell swoop, make your husband love you more, make your life more meaningful and, above all else, is the best thing you will ever do as a woman. I didn’t care about any of it

Why do I need to have reasons? When someone decides to have a baby, people don't go around asking what her reasons are.

She did not especially appreciate children either, but could be kind to them when they were silent.

... I think that childfree by choice is the new gay. We're the new disenfranchised group. People think we're irresponsible, immoral sluts and that our lifestyle is up for debate.

A woman without children is the same as a woman with a child minus the child. Being willing to have a baby or deciding that you don’t want a child doesn’t define a woman’s character or her capabilities.