9 Quotes by Cheri Oteri

When a man says he wants to meet a girl with a sense of humor, he means one who will laugh at everything he says while her breasts jiggle.

Chris [Kattan] and Will [Ferrell] and I all went out – I don’t want to say where, because it’s a famous restaurant and it’s Italian-owned and I don’t want any trouble. But I ended up throwing up all night from food poisoning. All the blood vessels in my eyes were broken, and the blood vessels in my face. I did not sleep. I walked into the audition and the makeup person said, ‘Oh my God, what happened to you?’ I looked like I was in a car accident.

The makeup person said oh my God what happened to you? I looked like I was in a car accident.

I grew up pretty much entertaining myself. So I know what its like to be in a room by myself and having fun with something.

My sister really drooled a lot when she was younger. For her wedding, I was going to get her one of those lace drool cups that go around the ears.

My sister could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. She would fall asleep on the train. Me, I never slept. Still. I have a hard time sleeping. But I used to admire her ability to wake up late.

When I go to parties, there's a moment when I think, 'I really don't belong here.'

When the other girls had given up their Barbies, I was still playing with mine in secret.

The funny thing is, I was never purposely blonde. I just got highlights, and then you get highlights over highlights, and then it looks like you're blonde.