37 Quotes by Dark Jar Tin Zoo

If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.


Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.


I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.

She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.

If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.


I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a “politician,” and must be destroyed.


To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.


Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.


I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.