70 Quotes by Dean Martin

I would rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy

If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

How long have I been on?

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant'.

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.