119 Quotes by Elayne Boosler

I think when you take off that jacket and they see that ‘I LOVE GRANDMA’ T-shirt, they’re going to rip your heart out.

People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.

You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.

As for being a voice in politics, I feel whether you are famous or not, busy or not, it's incumbent upon every citizen to participate in this government in any way we can.

Men put all kinds of expectations on you. They want you to scream 'You're the best' while swearing you've never done this with anyone before.

Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.

My brother is gay and my parents don't care, as long as he marries a doctor.

I didn't get a high school diploma. I really didn't have much of an education, which left me open to educating myself throughout my life, without the limitations on intellectual curiosity a formal education can impose. I followed what interested me.

There's only one difference between Jews and Catholics. Jews are born with guilt, and Catholics have to go to school to learn it.