144 Quotes by Fred Allen

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

The world is a grindstone and life is your nose