255 Quotes by George Burns

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman ... or a bad woman.

With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

Young. Old. Just Words.

At my age flowers scare me.

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.