111 Quotes by H.L. Mencken

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.

Government today is growing too strong to be safe. There are no longer any citizens in the world there are only subjects. They work day in and day out for their masters they are bound to die for their masters at call. Out of this working and dying they tend to get less and less.

The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians.

The essence of science is that it is always willing to abandon a given idea for a better one; the essence of theology is that it holds its truths to be eternal and immutable.

Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.

Looking back over a life of hard work… my only regret is that I didn’t work even harder.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?

There are two kinds of Europeans: The smart ones, and those who stayed behind.

The best client is a scared millionaire.