438 Quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

I wish I could relate to the people I'm related to.

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.