98 Quotes by Quentin R. Bufogle

99% of all problems can be solved by money -- and for the other 1% there's alcohol.

A friend told me that one day he and I would be rich and famous. I told him that I'd trade my half of the fame, for his half of the money.

To all you who believe we shouldn't have a minimum wage -- that the minimum amount you can be paid should be determined solely by your employer. We tried it once before: it was called SLAVERY.

If you're gonna burn a bridge behind you, make sure you've crossed it first.

Money can buy a shitload of happiness -- just nothing you can't ever live without.

I want an avowed atheist in the White House. When time comes to push that button, I want whoever's making the decision to understand that once it's pushed, it's over. Finito. They're not gonna have lunch with Jesus. Won't be deflowering 72 virgins on the great shag carpet of eternity, or reincarnated as a cow. I want someone making that decision who believes life on this Earth isn't just a dress rehearsal for something better -- but the only shot we get.

Arguing that the only problem with a free market is lack of competition, is like arguing that that the only problem with prostitution is that there aren't enough pimps.

Lately the muse has been treating me like Ike treated Tina.

What's this business about the 'little man in the canoe?' If it's big enough for a canoe, it's too big for me.