445 Quotes by Stewart Stafford

That knave would happily use a sextant to investigate his lineage and only tell the true Sun from a bastard.

Ageing is the growing chasm between the familiarity of memories and their fading distance in time. Old age is when the past is so far back it appears more surreal than a life lived. Death is when the individual relinquishes their tenuous grip on their life history.

When kindness is your compass, you will find guidance to the right path in this life and the next.

Begone, O frightful wig of deceit!

I killed a fruit fly that wouldn't get out of my face by clapping my hands on it. In its last act of kamikaze defiance, the fly hurled its fading carcass into a coffee I had only half-drunk and was enjoying. I had to pour it down the drain. F***er.

I've been 21 for many years now.

Niagara falls, Viagra rises.

Lies are a vacation from the self.

America is drowning in guns. Even if they were all banned from midnight tonight, it would probably take a century or two to get them all out of circulation and maybe not even then.