29 Quotes About Coffee-humor

I killed a fruit fly that wouldn't get out of my face by clapping my hands on it. In its last act of kamikaze defiance, the fly hurled its fading carcass into a coffee I had only half-drunk and was enjoying. I had to pour it down the drain. F***er.

She is amazingly hot. She seduces me all the time. I can't stop looking at her. She wants me all the time. She keeps me awake all my wandering nights. She bewitches me in myriad unknown ways. She is my Coffee!

Coffee first. Save the world later.

The Lord must have created coffee to reward humans for those bad times they sometimes have on Earth. Having charged your heart and brain with a cup of coffee, you’re ready to face the challenges of life. A good cup of coffee makes life seem better.

I should never do anything pre-coffee. 'It was only a teeny fire,' I told my uncle over the phone.

Life is like coffee, the darker it gets, the more it energizes.

With enough coffee anything is possible

If drinking alcohol gives people Dutch courage, then drinking coffee gives me Dutch energy.

What doesn’t KILL me makes me stronger… Except for the extinction of COFFEE… that might kill me.