330 Quotes by W. C. Fields

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.

It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.

I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

I drink therefore I am.

Ain't fit for man nor beast

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.