133 Quotes by andy weir

All the information about relativity is in the laptop. Have your scientists take a look.” “Yes. They will be very pleased.” “Not when they find out about quantum physics. Then they'll be really annoyed.”“Not understand.”I laugh. “Don't worry about it.

Knock-knock-knockNo, that's not creepy at all. Being in a spaceship twelve light-years from home and having someone knock on the door is totally normal.

Or maybe they'll board my ship and lay eggs in my brain. You can never be sure.

On Earth, we have a scary, deadly creature called a spider. You look like one of those. Just so you know.” “Good. Proud. I am scary space monster. You are leaky space blob.” He points to the breeder tanks. “Check tanks!

If it moves but shouldn’t: Duct tape. If it doesn’t move but should: WD-40. These two items cover all of your needs. Everything else in science is secondary.

Hartnell's was for drinking. And you could get any drink you wanted, as long as it was beer.

So," Martinez said, "we're talking about going directly against NASA's decision?

Anyway, to ensure I don’t crash again, I’ll— Seriously…no women in like, years. I don’t ask for much. Believe me, even back on Earth a botanist/mechanical engineer doesn’t exactly have ladies lined up at the door. But still, c’mon.

In other news, It’s seven sols till the harvest, and I still haven’t prepared. For starters, I need to make a hoe. Also, I need to make an outdoor shed for the potatoes. I can’t just pile them up outside. The next major storm would cause The Great Martian Potato Migration.