Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.

Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink.

What is your advice to young writers?” “Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes.

To me, nudity is a joke. I don't think nude people are very attractive at all. I like my women fully clothed. I like to imagine what might be under there. It might not be the standard thing. Imagine, stripping a woman down, and she has a body like a little submarine. With periscope, propellers, torpedoes. That would be the one for me. I'd marry her right off and be faithful to the end.

Dripping faucets, farts of passion, flat tires - are all sadder than death.

I feel no grief for being called somethingwhichI am not;in fact, it's enthralling, somehow, like a goodback rub

I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey.

Getting drunk was good. I decided that I would always like getting drunk. It took away the obvious and maybe. If you could get away from the obvious often enough, you wouldn't become obvious yourself.

My objection to war was not that I had to kill somebody or be killed senselessly, that hardly mattered. What I objected to was to be denied the right to sit in a small room and starve and drink cheap wine and go crazy in my own way and at my own leisure.