Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. I think I think too much.

The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you.

To be a philosopher, just reverse everything you have ever been told...and have a sense of humor doing it.

Angels are good not simply because they see bad as bad, but also because they see bad as corny.

There is this common notion that people are shallow and ignorant until they go out and see the world. I, on the other hand, went out and in comparison realized I was in pretty good standing.

Whenever you feel like feeling like a devil's advocate, Bible-thump. That, in a worldly world, is the great irony and satire of evangelism.

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks.

We men are fascinated by the things we don't really understand. It gives us something to think and talk about: like females, they drive us nuts.

I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby.