Women are aroused by the strangest things, like a rock going through their bedroom window

The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard

Manners without sincerity, is called polite society

If you don't fall down now and again, it just means the training wheels are working

If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you’re lookingthrough binoculars the wrongway

Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert

I like gross generalizations...I also like disgusting specifics!

There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident

Love is the canvas covering the furniture that you've become a part of