99% of all problems can be solved by money -- and for the other 1% there's alcohol.

A friend told me that one day he and I would be rich and famous. I told him that I'd trade my half of the fame, for his half of the money.

To all you who believe we shouldn't have a minimum wage -- that the minimum amount you can be paid should be determined solely by your employer. We tried it once before: it was called SLAVERY.

Money can buy a shitload of happiness -- just nothing you can't ever live without.