120 Quotes About Codependency

One particularly harmful idea carried by our cultural narrative is that you need to find someone who will love you. Imagine if we believed this about any other basic need: food, water, oxygen. If you needed another person to provide you with those, you’d be considered dependent—if not disabled. Yet we so willingly put ourselves in this state with love.

They are called stuckerpillers because they get stuck together. They depend so much on each other even when they become unhappy living together. They can’t leave each other because they’ve become one. They lose their own identity and then they get confused. They become helpless. When one stuckerpiller wants to go in one direction and the other stuckerpiller wants to go in the opposite direction, they end up pulling against each other, never really getting anywhere.

It is one thing to know about your dysfunctional habits but quite another to change them.

...I'm constantly agitated, restless - I work moments like worry beads until I see your face...

If we want to improve, first we have to recognize our own maladaptive coping skills, called codependency, then change.

Stop pushing people into web development as if it is the only true career path. Instead, push people into computer science, programming, coding, etc. There is so much competition because everyone is doing it, you just create a lot of demoralized and disgruntled people. There is more to programming than web development.

With intimacy comes the possibility of “engulfment” or being taken hostage by the demands of others. We may have distorted perceptions of the “demands” and obligations placed upon us by those who claim to love us. Trusting that love to be unconditional is almost impossible for us, and we are always scanning for the unstated “subtext” or hidden “agenda” connected to this love.

People pleasing and putting others first literally diminished my mental, emotional, spiritual and physical well-being. Overwhelmingly, most emotionally wounded people demonstrate this trait. Many of us have been programmed to put others first; to be of service to others before we serve ourselves.

Ultimately, co-dependency ends when you make the choice to stop relating in co-dependent ways and by developing a healthy, harmonious relationship with yourself.