1,680 Quotes About Comedy

The medium is the message, the message is encrypted, and the encryption key is controlled by NSA.

Every Friday is black where I work.

The Occupy Wall Street movement faltered when activists realized that traders were quite busy already.

Secret 3963. It’s only a sucking chest wound if you’re not the shooter.

Paradigm shift: does that come before swing shift or after?

Conduct Covert UAV Operations Naked

Sure we could replace war with paintball battles. But it would escalate to paint grenades, paint bombs, weapons of mass paint. I don’t want to live in a world where my kids have to worry about what color they will be in the morning.

In geometry, whenever we had to find the area of a circle, pi * radius squared, I would get really hungry for pie. Square pie.

I think the reason I choose the comic approach so often is because it's harder, therefore affording me the opportunity to show off.