1,680 Quotes About Comedy

f a group of guys are hanging around and one guy is doing coke, he’ll say, ‘Take a hit. You’ll feel like a new man.’ He’s right; the problem is that once you feel like a new man, that new man wants a hit so he can feel like a new man. And that goes on and on until the coke runs out, and you’re broke.

Karate Jesus: Karate Jesus. So, if God created the universe, and Jesus is a part of God, and Karate is part of the universe, then Jesus invented Karate! It’s Karate Jesus bruh!

So sometimes I'll make up sh*t that's not even slang, just to see how they handle it and sh*t. It'll be the same thing, they just go:"All right, we're gonna close the deal. Is that fine with you, Dave?""Yeah, it sounds good to me.""Great. You have a good weekend, Dave.""All right, buddy. Zip it up, and zip it out."He'll be like..."Uh... All right. Zippity-doo-dah, bye-BYE.

Working lunch is the art of gorging in five star delicacies all the while spitting out fancy business jargons

Proof of concept or POC is the art of winning a ship-building contract by showing the working model of a paper boat

We went to a movie and he kissed me for the first time. We kissed right through it...“Now let’s kiss somewhere else,” said Max.

We're in and out in five minutes tops," I reminded everyone. "Just like the studio. Five minutes of rock and roll. Ax? You keep us honest, okay?""

I could never be a politician, I have a problem of too often being honest.

Free speech is very precious, we may not like what some people say but at least the elephant is there in full display