316 Quotes About Funny-and-random

Never make eye contact with a stranger when you’re having a churro.

You're going to throw me naked into a pit and make me drench myself in baby lotion, aren't you?" BrideYou live in New Orleans, where they can't even dig a grave. So tell me where I'm going to find this pit?" Vane"It's an above ground pit." Bride"Hardly secretive." Vane"But possible," Bride

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs

If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator

If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried

The only difference between me and a madman is that he has the certification

Don't you wish we all lived in black light.... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it

When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service….that's no chocolate on the pillow

If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months