286 Quotes About Funny-but-true

Angels are good not simply because they see bad as bad, but also because they see bad as corny.

While she could hardly fathom what had just happened to her that night, she reached some conclusions before she fell asleep, certain things now made perfect sense; Moon River didn’t sound so syrupy, mistletoe wasn’t such a bad idea, and perhaps dating was not such a frivolous waste of time after all.

I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.

There is this common notion that people are shallow and ignorant until they go out and see the world. I, on the other hand, went out and in comparison realized I was in pretty good standing.

Hell, can you imagine if crayons were all one color? Me neither!

She was supportive, didn’t pry or expect anything from me, and sensed when I needed my space. If she were a guy, I’d probably date her. Or, if I were a lesbian. And if she were a lesbian. I guess we’d both have to be lesbians for that to work. Regardless, she made a pretty great friend.

Baby's thoughts when parents try to hide there face behind their hands; "You mean to tell me that, she's hiding behind her hands?

Whenever you feel like feeling like a devil's advocate, Bible-thump. That, in a worldly world, is the great irony and satire of evangelism.

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks.