289 Quotes About Funny-humor

Just looking for a piece of adventure, my ass. You already have an adventure. Who is he?”An enigma.“Just a guy I met the other night,” I answered.“And why the hell would you not want to see him? Did he have herpes or something? Because that’s a damn shame. Like paint splattered all over a Van Gogh. Or a naked Ryan Gosling.

Swing low, sweet chariot, comin'for t'carry me home...' was the tune I hummed as I made the beds, and waited for the news to come that our grandfather was on his way to heaven if his gold counted, and to hell if the Devil couldn't be bribed.

Soul, love, joy and natural beauty shines first from within. Make time for quiet reflective moments. Be still and know there is more than just Botox and pink martinis for women over 40.

That Stage in Friendship when you can start Insulting them.

We can beat our swords into plowshares, and we can beat our plowshares into swords, but as far as computers go, a hammer can only change the shape of the junk, not it's function.

Arch turned and looked at Ian. The other man was fiddling with the neckline of his shirt. “You're just jealous, Ian, and wishing you had a soul mate of your own. In fact, I don't think any woman will be safe until you get one.” Ian shot him an unamused look at his words.

Oh Pia, I feel GOOD! Fully recovered!’ he always says in a dazzling tone that tells everyone within a ten-kilometre radius that he’s not.

I suppose I could get a job to have something to do, but working when I don't have to work would be like pulling a straight and healthy tooth -- pointless and extremely painful."--David Palmer

I’m currently imagining a few creative ways of causing you extraordinary amounts of pain.”Kingsley raised his chin. Mere inches separated their faces.“Stop flirting. You know we don’t have time for that.