289 Quotes About Funny-humor

My calculations - allowing for a 12 percent margin of error, based on the radius of the corresponding confidence interval and the surgeon general's warning - concluded that they probably didn't stay behind for the tacos.

Yes, it’s true. I can now tell you where cups and plates are to be found in my own kitchen. I know it’s a shock, but soon I may even be able to locate a bowl.

Now and Laters. Starbust, Pixie Stix. If she gets too bitchy, just feed her this crap. As long as the sugar high is in effect, you and the wildlife should be safe

In Norwegian that would be 'hun ma dra. Kanskje er hun gravid.'" Astley sttempts to smile.i can't help teasing him. "Which? Asking to go to the bathroom or dissing me because I'm pregnant.""you are with child?" his eyes open wid, all mock terrified."No! Shut up. You know I'm not." I punch him in the arm and then lead him into the stairwell, shutting the door behind us. "Okay. Seriously, Astley, what happened to you? Why is your head bleeding?

Dear lord, the flash of his gleaming white teeth was like a hot button to my nether regions. Down vagina! Down, girl.”Bad Rep by A. Meredith Walters

He was fucking with us pretty hard in the saferoom,” Sandra called from the front of the plane’s undercarriage.“Aw, Sandy, that wasn’t fucking,” Simon said. “That was just, I don’t know, really obnoxious foreplay or something.

Sitting alone in the cafeteria would just scream “I’m the new girl. Everyone stare at me while I eat.

The big male gestured to a chair in the corner. "Mind if I sit?"She nodded her acquiescence. "Go right ahead. That chair has seen more tail than a rock star lately.

Bildon killed Tad. Look, there’s his dagger hidden in the pot of semolina. There’s the proof,” he screamed. “It’s in the pudding.”What an idiot, thought Madrick as he raced up the steps, the proof is always in the eating.