5,226 Quotes About Humour

Most human beings strongly believe that money is way less important than the life of a human being, but in reality five hundred, fifty, or even five dollars are way more important to the lives of most human beings than the lives of most human beings.

My family tree spreads wide as well. I am a great ape, and you are a great ape, and so are chimpanzees and orangutans and bonobos, all of us distant and distrustful cousins.I know this is troubling.I too find it hard to believe there is a connection across time and space, linking me to a race of ill-mannered clowns.Chimps. There's no excuse for them.

There are some things you just don't say...not even in a school!

And I thought kitty liter was the unlawful practice of discarding small felines along the roadside.

Women in love are patheticand I cannot be bothered, for now,I am back to metaphysicsand my armpits gather hair.

I got this to say. You're acting like a crowd of kids.

Frankly speaking, I'm not afraid of death. I don't endeavour to avert its advent. But I don't want to be a witness of it.

—Cuando me ponga en contacto con usted le propondré que nos tuteemos, ¿le parece?—Encantado de haberte conocido.

Do you remember—”“Fuck, yes.” Merrick stood. “And if you’re telling this story, I’m getting the bottle.