6,115 Quotes About Kids

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

Kids. You gotta love them. I adore children. A little salt, a squeeze of lemon--perfect.

Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God.

Teach your kids by modeling what you claim to believe.

The best thing you can do for your kids is to show them God working in you on a daily basis.

Because zombies can’t go out into the sun, most of them tend to be afraid of anything that can go into the sun and live to tell the tale.

I saw the bruises, the burns, the cuts— I knew which ones had been done to you by someone you thought you could trust. Someone you thought loved you. I knew which ones you gave yourself.

Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about.