146 Quotes About Puns

Would I laugh?""Matter of fact, you would," says Zeb. "Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking.

I’m pretty sure that wasn’t there before,” Nick grumbled.Kelly laughed harder. “I’m pretty sure it was.”“Shut up.”“You’re high.”“Oh, look at the pothead calling the kettle names,” Nick said in a singsong voice as he settled onto the wide chaise beside Kelly.

The glass is completely full...of shit.

The late bird gets the fish that got the worm.

Impersonating a quiet, gentle librarian like Barbara Gordon--You deserve to be taken out of circulation!

This Byrd wants a Wren.

the new Filipino President's name had become a saucy joke: 'Corazon, aqui, no?' That is: 'Darling, let's do it here, eh?' Or, if the words were stressed differently: 'Corazon, aqui? — No!'

I assume therefore I think I think yet still don't know a goddamn thing.

How much do you know of La Mayonnaise?” she inquired.He shrugged. “Maybe up to the part that goes ‘Aux armes, citoyens’—