73 Quotes About Sarcasm-humor

Child-- "I can't be patient, that's not a word, so don't even say it mommy."Mommy-- "What?

Ok, let me just write that down for you since you seem to think I'm you personal assistant," Sally responded, her tone clipped."You ever noticed how assistant starts with ass? Do you think that's a coincidence?" Jen shrugged her shoulders as she raised her eyebrows at Sally.

Are you sure that's Val?""No," said Freddie. "It's Lassie in a wolf suit.

Reality Sucks, I want my dreams back.

Double Sword Tavern.” Tristan said, reading out loud. “Sounds charming and inviting.

Sono così intelligente che a volte non capisco una sola parola di quel che sto dicendo.

It is time to buddle (scrub in water) all that is not illutile (unwash-awayable). Baudelaire said that humans were deluded if they thought they could wash away all their spots with vile tears, but Baudelaire was French and therefore knew nothing about hygiene or shower gel.

He shook off the thoughts—that wasn’t anything he needed to worry about tonight. Any secondnow, he was going to hear the chime of a new text message, the chime that signaled the demise of rich,slick Maybe-next-time-we-can-meet-for-more-than-two-minutes-which-also-happens-to-be-how-long-I-last-during-sex Tyler Roland, Attorney-at-Law.Vaughn picked up his phone to check that it had a signal.Yep, any second now.

Your quick ‘no’ is because I refused to say ‘yes’ to sex. They say men think with their dicks. I hope you do not run Easton with your—