1,147 Quotes About Sarcasm

He had been thrown into the dungeon after refusing to accept that ‘bridegroom’ was no longer an acceptable term to call a groom. Needless to say, he had been there quite a long time.

I'm never going to send my children to boarding school. The boys can go to P.S. 148 with gangsters, and then go to Columbia & the girls can go to Hunter College and they'll all be morons but at least they wont have to tear around and get their teeth knocked out playing hockey every day.[Letter to R. Beverley Corbin, Jr, 3 October 1946]

I have church on Sunday.”“Of course you do.”“You’re welcome to come along.”“Thanks, but I’m allergic to incense.”“That’s a shame.”“It’s the bane of my existence.”- Beth and Jake

If walls could talk - scratch that, if walls could make sarcastic comments... well, things would be interesting.

Relationships are so much like the United States - they only really thrive when faced with an external threat.

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half.

Ninety percent of the people are not happy with their jobs. The remaining ten percent don’t deserve their jobs in the first place.

Chalk again?" Cal seemed almost disappointed. "Too bad there's no chalk monster."Penn snorted with amusement. Chalk monster. That was like saying it was a vampire. Everyone knew vampires didn't exist. Zombies who drank blood to stay alive. Ridiculous.

A woman's weapon is her tongue.