1,006 Quotes About Satire

There is no such thing as a boring person when you are lonely or extremely bored.

True, beneath the human façade, I was an interloper, an alien whose ship had crashed beyond hope of repair in the backwoods of Southern Appalachia—but at least I’d learned to walk and talk enough like the locals to be rejected as one of their own.

I gave you three proofs of witchcraft. A cat that drinks blood! A horse that talks! And a man who propagates POODLES!

อากาศยังคงร้อนขึ้นทุกทีเริ่มทยอยมีผู้เสียชีวิตจากความร้อนผู้คนเริ่มอารมณ์ปะทุ ความกราดเกรี้ยวที่เก็บกดเริ่มเผยให้เห็นนายอำเภอคนเดิมเมื่อทราบเรื่องจึงออกมาจัดการแก้ปัญหาเขาประกาศเปลี่ยนแปลงตัวเลขของอุณหภูมิโดยสั่งให้ตัวเลขจากการวัดอุณหภูมิในเมืองนี้ต้องลบออกยี่สิบองศาจึงจะเป็นอุณหภูมิที่ถูกต้องแท้จริง

Millions of sane people would each be sexually attracted to their own parent or child if they were not related to them.

Some people masturbate to temporarily replace their partners when they are absent, whereas some people do that to temporarily live in the present.

Run. Flee. Fuck off. Vanish from my presence and take the foul stench of your sordid secret with you.

Next door to the Bensons is Emmet Frag, a retired pacemaker who is credited with inventing the notion of happiness. He’s currently working on a method for categorising ducks based on their singing voice. He’s also the owner of the world’s largest collection of tenor geese.

Next door but one is Quinlan Broddle, a Viceroy with a fear of gardens. So much so that he sold his garden to Virgin Atlantic and his erstwhile front lawn is now a runway where miniature helicopters and packets of crisps undertake sorties to 1940’s Dresden where they have made several dozen unsuccessful attempts to rescue the Quaker Oats man, who is being held captive by the SS on the basis that his hair looks like ice cream.