92 Quotes About Video-games

Oh, don't let all the joking around fool ya—I've got kind of a thing for killing. Most funny people do, you know. The two things must be linked somehow. Ever talk to a jester when he's off duty? Those guys are some sick dastards!

I need to go marry my wife, so I can beat her to death.

I saw a news report recently that measured average video game use by American men between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-five: twenty hours per week. Do you mean the flower of America's masculinity can't think of anything more important to do with twenty hours a week than sit in front of a video screen? Folks, this ain't normal. Can't we unplug already?

When my dad was young he shot marbles. When I was young I played Marble Madness on my Nintendo Entertainment System.

We are no longer worried that children are missing school because of video games, though. We are worried that they are murdering their classmates because of video games.

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To my knowledge, no one in or out of the field has ever been able to cite a game worthy of comparison with the great dramatists, poets, filmmakers, novelists and composers. That a game can aspire to artistic importance as a visual experience, I accept. But for most gamers, video games represent a loss of those precious hours we have available to make ourselves more cultured, civilized and empathetic.

And it’s not like I’ve never jacked off. I’m fifteen years old. Of course I do it. Any guy who says he doesn’t is lying. That would be like having the coolest video game ever and never playing it. No one’s that stupid.

The one plentiful herds of magazine writers would continue to be culled - by the Internet, by the recession, by the American public, who would rather watch TV or play video games or electronically inform friends that, like, 'rain sucks!' But there's no app for a bourbon buzz on a warm day in a cool, dark bar. The world will always want a drink.