513 Quotes About Wit

The most satisfying product of culture is bread.

You came to my room in the middle of the night to show me your swords? And they say romance is dead.

Bored by the tedious and improving conversation of those who have neither the wit to exaggerate nor the genius to romance. Tired of the intelligent person whose reminiscences are always based upon memory, whose statements are invariably limited by probability, and who is at any time liable to be corroborated by the merest Philistine who happens to be present.Society sooner or later must return to its lost leader — the cultured and fascinating liar.

Mr. Worthing! Rise, sir, from this semi-recumbent posture. It is most indecorous.

ALGERNON. Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?LANE. I didn't think it polite to listen, sir.ALGERNON. I'm sorry for that, for your sake. I don't play accurately - any one can play accurately - but I play with wonderful expression.

ALGERNON. And who are these people you amuse?JACK. Oh, neighbours, neighbours.ALGERNON. Got nice neighbours in your part of Shropshire?JACK. Perfectly horrid! Never speak to one of them.ALGERNON. How immensely you must amuse them!

ALGERNON: Please don't touch the cucumber sandwiches. They are ordered especially for Aunt Augusta.JACK: Well, you have been eating them all the time.ALGERNON: That is quite a different matter. She is my aunt.

It is a very ungentlemanly thing to read a private cigarette case.

JACK: I would like to be allowed to take advantage of Lady Bracknell's temporary absence...GWENDOLEN. I would certainly advise you to do so. Mamma has a way of coming back suddenly into a room that I have often had to speak to her about.