Bookstores are temples and stories are my prayers.

That's right, bitch. Goldie Schwartz. And I'm not a fucking midget. I prefer the term 'fun sized'.

And if i had to listen to one more minute of my demon's increasingly pathetic and creepy attempts to get a piece of rebound faery ass, i was going to cut a bitch.

If wishes solved problems, the world would be a very different place.

Hey, controlling a zombie horde is hard work. I'd punch a nun for a cheeseburger right about now.

He scrambled to grab a hose and pointed it at us. A pathetic stream of water trickled out.What are you going to do? Giguhl said. Moisten us?

I laughed. "Yeah, right. If anyone gives you trouble, he'll hump their leg like a berserker." "Hey! I haven't humped anyone in months." The demon pursed his lips".

Got it. Look for a room with a sign with a big arrow that says, ‘Kidnapped Mancies Here,’ ” he said.

What she means is, I might look like a pussy but I'm really a badass demon.

I only believed in three things: my right fist, my left fist, and my gut.