I guess I'm supposed to sit here in this oven like it's 1950, hoping I don't go to hell for stealing a church fan.

There aren't many kids today as good as you are. Kids today are selfish; they don't think of others. They're too busy listening to devil music on their eight-track players to think of anyone else.

Sometimes you may think you're doing the right thing, but it turns out to be the wrong thing. And you just have to live with it. If I'd known what I know now when I was young, I could have done a lot more right, but I didn't. That's the way life is: you figure it out right before you die.

I can tell you kids grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth. When I was your age, we took a bath once a week on Saturday night, and all of us used the same bath water.

I feel better now that we decided not to worry. I think most people spend too much time worrying about stuff that never happens.

That scream left her mouth and entered my head, where it's been ever since, sometimes waking me up at night.

I've tucked those negative thoughts in a drawer, and for the most part, though I know the drawer still exists, it never gets opened.

I wanted to go in and tell them that, but George thought it would just be stirring up some trouble, you know, stirring up the cow pile. A cow pile may looked dried up, but if you stir it up, it can start to stink again.

Ain't no decent woman ever had that many husbands to die from natural causes.

Some of the more superstitious townsfolk even believed she was a witch. The fact that she had four dead husbands lined up in a neat row at the local Promise Land Cemetery was not an argument in her defense.