You never really write the obituary on smog days,

It's not the loss of life that makes the death bitter -- it's the obituaries.

Metaphysics keeps surviving its obituaries.

When the 'Guardian' is commissioning writers to write obituary pieces about you and your career... it doesn't get much nastier than that. And you've just got to go, 'It doesn't actually matter.'

Yellow journalism turns purple when third page obituaries appear on page one.

I watch her watch me. I'm so hard my brain can barely function. All my blood is in my dick, and it's so engorged it might explode if she just looks in its direction.So this is what it feels like to die of horniness. My obituary is going to be embarrassing if anyone bothers writing it.

Dragescu was "selfless and kind" but for her, the world had been a "bad place to live in", the family said in a statement.

[José] Saramago for the last 25 years stood his own with any novelist of the Western world [..] He was the equal of Philip Roth, Gunther Grass, Thomas Pynchon and Don DeLillo. His genius was remarkably versatile — he was at once a great comic and a writer of shocking earnestness and grim poignancy. It is hard to believe he will not survive.

Read your own obituary notice; they say you live longer. Gives you second wind. New lease of life.

More than half of the obituaries are that of delight.