58 Quotes by Bob Monkhouse

They all laughed when I said I'd become a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

Personally, I don’t think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.

My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already.'

I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.

I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.

I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.